I've done it. I've achieved the goal of distracted bachelors everywhere. Through questionable experimentation, manifold failures and a constant refinement of craft, I have constructed the perfect sandwich.

From bottom to top-

Hamburger bun.

A quarter of an avocado, crushed into paste.

Sliced grapes.

Shredded turkey.

Olive oil, basil, pepper and salt.

One slice of roast beef.

Shredded Romano cheese.

A thin spread of honey on the top bun. (Do not spread the honey on the beef, it'll be uneven. It works best if you sprinkle the Romano onto the honey, then turn the bun over onto the rest of the sandwich.)



If you're really hungry, make two, as a hamburger bun sandwich is not equal in mass to a sliced bread sandwich. To properly compliment it, have the remainder of the bunch of grapes to the side, as well as a glass of unsweetened, ice cold tea, and a mandarin orange popsicle to follow. While you may want a vegetable, lettuce subtracts from the flavors with its crunch- instead, you may be better served exchanging the grapes for a sliced red pepper, either in the sandwich or on the side.

And THAT is what I've been doing with my time. I regret nothing.